[Blah...]
Blah. I'm in one of my pissed-off depressed moods tonight, so I'm just gonna not post at all other than this one sentence.

--Raine

[Car Car Car Car Car Car Car...]
After work, I went to dinner at Friendly's. In my car! No, it isn't a really big thing for most people out there, but I just got a new car (mentioned in previous posts), and I drove it around Concord and my neighborhood. I really love this car a lot. My mom filled it up with gas before she went to Market Basket, and it took less than $10 lol.

I've been training at work, and today I was put with a weird guy named Matt. He's a little slow, I'd say. He liked to repeat his strange sayings (none of which were about the job), and took his time with, well, pretty much everything we did. Whatever.

Today we watched some of Saving Private Ryan in History. Good movie. Very good movie. After I'd read the material backgrounding the scenes we watched, I had the strangest desire to play Day of Defeat, and I found out tonight that I'm pretty good at being a Sargent/Unteroffizer/Sargent Major. I'm also not too shabby in the Sniper/Marksman/[German Sniper] class. Anything with an automatic non-rifle or a scope, I'm pretty good with, especially in close quarters (not the scope on that part, more the sub machine gun). I went 57/21 with a score of 42 in one round. (Not too bad for someone who'd never played before, eh?) I'm not sure how they award points, but I think it's based on your kill to deaths ratio.

Oh ya--just in case you've noticed typos or things that don't make sense, I'll never go back to change a post other than to make it legible, so I'll never have to be accused of changing information, and I'll not have ot forget things that were important to me at a certain point in my life. If this happens to come back and bite me in the ass, so be it.

Hmmmm....Nothin' else to say tonight.

--Raine

[Five little words]
It's funny how five little words can make you feel so weird.
On Thursday, I realized how much I really liked Darcie when she said to my friend "I do like you, Jon." Funny, huh?

I've moved on though. Why? Because I got a car! It's a 2000 Daewoo Nubria, fully loaded with only 43,000 miles on it. I got it for $3,650 (USD). It gets about 35 miles per gallon, and it has a lot of vertical headroom. I like it. The only thing I don't like about it is that it's an automatic :(. Oh well, you can't get everything, huh?
Here is a picture of a car that looks just like it, just more expensive. The guy that I bought it from doesn't have a license to sell cars that have been in accidents, so I know its clean. He's going to have it inspected and make sure that everything is good on it before I can take it from his lot, so I know it'll be in good working order. I drove it, so I know it runs. I'm happy.
Guess what else I have to tell you? I got a job at Market Basket! Yay! I'll be starting tonarrow at 3:30 and I'll be getting $7.00/hr. It's not much, but it's $7.00/hr that I wasn't making before, plus it gives me something constructive to do in the afternoons. A bunch of my friends work there too, so it can't be horrible or anything, plus if I need a day or a few off, I just ask my boss a week in advance and he'll put it in the schedule. Yay!
That's about all I have to post tonight. Later, y'all.

--Raine

[I'm not too sure right now]
I'm very confused...but more on that later.
First off, I went to the mall today and *bought* four games, and two were even for the computer!
-Enter the Matrix-No explaination needed
-Diablo II Expansion-The downloaded one didn't work online
-Jet Grind Radio-Pretty Colors+Cel Shading+Spraypainting stuff=Good
-Rogue Squadron 64-X Wing+Little men running on the ground=Fun >:}

Why am I so confused, you may be asking. I'll tell you after this. After we went to see the Matrix, Janelle and I went to Borders, the coolest book store evar. I bought a deck of Tarot Cards and I'm in the process of learning to Read them for myself. But That's not why I'm so confused.
You see, there are a few people who think that I "like" Darcie. I'm pretty sure that I told myself that I wasn't going to let myself or anyone else down again for a while, but the people who have asked me aren't the most intuitive folks that I know, so there must be some reason that they think what they do. I don't know if there is a blatant "sign" or something, but I really don't know why three people who barely know wach other have come toward me saying this.
It's funny...less than three weeks ago, I was so desperate for a close girl friend that I was feeling dejected after being dropped so many times before. Now, when people are saying that they think I "like" someone, I don't give it any real thought at all.
It's not that I don't like Darcie. She's one of the most wonderful people I know: Smart, funny, incredibly deep eyes, and she's nice to everyone, not to mention fun to just talk to. Is it that I think I'm not good enough for anyone? Could be. Or maybe I'm just so lost in my own mind that I don't know what it is that I know and what I don't know.
The Tarot give you guidance, much like the Oracle in the Matrix. This morning I gave myself a general guidance reading, and it said that I would have to make a very important decision reguarding a close friend of mine. The decision, the cards said would change my entire mentality from mysterious or cold to open, free, or lost. Could this friend be Darcie? Is this choice to be one way or another, or could it be for me to decide whether I really do have feelings for her?
One of the reasons that I haven't had a real girlfriend for, well, ever, is that I'm afraid of alienating my friends from myself. I feel that if I tell a girl that I have feelings for her, which she cannot return that I will lose her as a friend because I can't be near her by choice.
I guess it ends up, again, with me feeling inadequate or just having a Victim Mentality, which the Tarot described to me in another form of a reading I practiced with today. I was told that I am someone that people look to as a regulating force, that I am generally not prone to spontenuity, but I was also told that I am also prone to said Victim Mentality, which I am. I feel that I am not quite enough for my friends, or, well, anyone so I pretend to be someone that I am not to make them seem like they need me to just do what I do so that they can be themselves.
I modify my personality to what fits the mood of others to balance them, and I have become good at this with practice.
I may lose her as my friend for saying this, but it is possible that I do "like" Darcie. When I talk to her, I don't try to be "The Regulator" like with the rest of my friends. I just say what is on my mind, and what I feel, and it seem to fit.
I have a feeling inside me that this could be the last post I do feeling like I do, and it very well might be. If Darcie reads this, I will either become closer to her, and she to I, or I may lose her forever.
Either way, if she sees this post, I will never be the same, and neither will this blog.
This may have been a struggle for you to finish reading, but I thank you for taking the time to do so.

--Raine

[I just want peace]
Haven't seen Revolutions? See it.

--Raine

[Neo, you are the One.]
Guess what? On Wednesday, The Matrix: Revolutions came out. So, my friends and I are going to see it tonight (booyea). The only problem is, its just the normal crew :(. Darcie isn't going, Chelsea isn't going to be there, and FaTony won't be going either! What's with that?
Anyways...I finished downloading a while bunch of stuff last night:
-1984: Ingsoc+BB=doubleplusungood
-MechWarrior 4 Mercenaries: Beep Beep vrrrr shoom! BAM!
-Diablo II Expansion: Lord of Destruction: Ba'al=weird name for a demon

What else? Today we had a sub in History. Guess who? It was Knowlton! Yes, for the second day in one week, we've had the Knowltonator as a sub. That's really cool. Knowlton is the strangest person that I know, and he's a great sub. When we're done our work, he starts some philosophical discussion with us. Today, we didn't have time because we watched the West Wing episode from Wednesday, but the last time we had him as sub, we talked about how girls are wearing things that they shouldn't be, and how guys are wearing things that a couple years ago would make them be called gay (run-on).
To end this post, I'd like to say that Ryan Gallant of Pembroke, New Hampshire is a complete and utter moron (see side pane for more details).

[Nooooooostril!]
I just talked to my friend Jeremy a minute ago. He's a cool guy, though a little strange. He has *big* nostrils, so we call him Nostril. I don't have a lot to update on today, so I'll just cut it off at that.

--Raine

[Just like the one-winged dove sings a song, sounds like she's singin']
Hmm...
Today: I woke up to my computer crapping out. Last night I left it on to run Norton, and it found 80 infected files! Yay! So, after that happened, Norton cleverly deleted the files and my computer didnt like that for some reason. Nevertheless, it was making its funny little noises this morning for a little bit.
School was funny though. Functions was dull until we went to a presentation on respect. After that presentation, with all of its flashy pictures, I felt like buying a case of Pepsi...wonder why?
Chemistry was, as usual, very, very, very boring. We went on for a little bit about chemicals and then talked a little more about chemicals and then talked about some weird bridge building contest where you use popsicle sticks to build a bridge to span a 30" gap. It seems that my class is going to watch the competition for some reason...iunno why since we're a chemistry class and it's a physics project. Whatever.
English was actually semi-fun today. We kept working on those stupid words that I talked about before, and I just copied off of Allison's paper today (since we were working together ;) ;) lol). We talked for a bit and then in the second part of class we talked again until Dunlea made us watch a video on Langston Hughes, which I *proudly* slept through :).
History wasn't as good as yesterday. We talked about our candidates for the Final Exam project, and then we talked about Allison's scary story she wrote using some '20's era words that Gleason gave us (*shudders*). Afterwards, we talked about the reading from "A Problem from Hell": America in the Age of Genocide", at which point he just gave us some questions to answer. Monochrome and I worked with the rest of the people in our row, including Darcie, Chelsea, and a few scary girls named Michelle, Christina, Jessica, June, and the rage-fueled one: Mary. Somehow, I ended up telling everyone in the group the story of how Monochrome burned his chin on some pizza--obviously completely off topic, but whatever. In the end of the class, we were talking about the best movie evar, Donnie Darko. Though it makes no sense at all the first time you watch it, it is major deep stuff after you've seen it twice. I highly recommend it to everyone who reads this page...and by every one I mean all one lol.
After I got back from school, Monochrome IMed me and started talking about how he can't get Chelsea, who just doesn't seem to want a boyfriend at this point. I have to admire him, though, because he's persistent.
What else has happened today? Not too much to be honest. Right now, I'm listening to the best psychadelic rock band ever: Pink Floyd, and I'm feeling a little tripped out :P. Ahh, The Wall r00ls.
For today's first survey:

Your element is Earth. I hate to say it but you are
down to earth. Stubborn and loyal. You tend to
want to nurture others and you are the one
person friends always come to for awnsers.
Without people like you others would be flying
over the edge because, whether you know it or
not you keep a steady beat to your life and
will end up where you want to in the end. There
is a sureness about you that is hard to match
that draws people to you. No matter what
happens the Earth keeps turning.


What's your element
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...and:

Miyu -- Now that you know which anime vampire you
are, why don't you
Click
Here to become one!


If you were an anime vampire, who would you be?
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I think that's about all for this afternoon's post.

--Raine

[Liff?]
I just finished watching Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life." While I was watching it, I was burning it onto a few CDs for my friends (don't tell lol). One of these friends was Chelsea...and while I was burning it, I realized that she may not like this film, as it happens to be written by a group of sexist English men. I'm almost afraid to give her the CD tomarrow in case she would be offended, as if she is, I may lose a friend in her...What to do?
Aight, that's all for now...no wait...it's not. I changed the color of the scrolly-bar on the right side of the window (for IE4+ and NS6).
Now, that's all.

--Raine

[Updates galore!]
Hey...It's me again. I just thought that I should show you some of the updates I've collected. I found a really cool website that lets you have free tracking on your website, as well as a free guestbook. Why is it so cool? Because I didn't have to code any of it myself, and since I'm lazy that is good for me. I just got a hit counter and a guest book, both at the bottom of the page. I'm not sure whether I'll get anything else, but for now, that's all. I'll update later then.

Guess what? My vampire name is Driretlan:
Driretlan is your Vampire name.
You are a witty Vampire with a certain style that
others are drawn to.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire,
go here:
www.life-blood.vze.com


What is your Vampire name?
brought to you by Quizilla

And I'm most closely related to the song "Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics:

"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused


Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

...Aaaaand for those people who just happen to be fans of me:
You won't die. God will take you up to Heaven
without having to taste the bitterness of
death, just like Elijah and FDR.

http://spartacus007.tblog.com Political Satire
http://www.LiberalClassic.com Buy unique pro-
Liberty apparel, bumper stickers and books!


How Will You Die?
brought to you by Quizilla

Finally, I'm loneliness...who woulda thunk it?

You represent... loneliness.
Always alone and always sad about it... unlike
angst, you don't have to look for a reason to
be miserable. You want to be in the company of
people but aren't sure how to act when you're
with them. Sometimes you have to make an
effort. You can't always wait for others to
come to you.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

That's about all for now I think.

--Raine

[Somebody's got a case of the Mondays...]
Well it's Monday. Whoopee.
Today I started feeling like crap. My alarm didn't go off, and I woke up late, and on top of that I didn't get toeat anything. At school didn't finish my Functions homework, so the teacher was being a douche about that, and in Homeroom, I found out that everyone failed the summer reading tests. Second block wasn't so bad, I did a test then went to the library and drew baaad pictures of the Banshee vehicle from Halo.
Afterwards, the day picked up a little when the girl mentioned in the last post started a convo with me ( :-D ). We did some stupid thing matching literary terms to stories or something like that. It was stupid and boring, so I talked to Monochrome for the whole period :).
By History, there was about 12 people in the class, so we just hung out mainly. Monochrome and I talked to the girls the are at the next table over, Darcie and Chelsea. Allison is also around and we talk to her too. Darcie is nice, she's tall with dark hair. We have an ongoing joke that she is a stripper becasue when we are bored in History, we draw pictures of pretty much random stuff and have the random stuff fight between them. I was brought into one of these battles by Monochrome, and Darcie drew a stripper who "Distracted Jake." In the end of this paper conflict, Darcie wrote "She wins," to which Monochrome wrote "Who? The stripper or Darcie?" and Darcie wrote: The stripper, 'cuz it's Darcie." I guess you had to be there.
Moving on, Chelsea is short and a little over-obsessed with her pet donkey. Note: This Chelsea is not to be confused with my slutty ex-girlfriend Chelsea who just happens to be short as well. She's cool though. Oh ya, if you didn't catch that part, from his blog Monochrome is like in love with her (lol). Nevertheless, she's a nice person.
Allison is...well...Republican to the max. She is obsessed with George Bush in a scary way. She has some strange theories about what the world should be and why it should be like that. One of these theories is that some people just don't deserve rights. She flat-out said this on the second day of our discussion of women's rights. Now, why would a woman say these things about women's rights? Seriously, how can someone like that who thinks that anyone who is a Democrat should be lynched say that people shouldn't get equal rights? I'm not sure and I probably will never know either.
Oh, ya...I came to a startling conclusion today. Fat girls shouldn't be allowed to wear thongs and short skirts, especially if they are planning on standing near a stairwell. I was walking up to History class today and I determined this by experiencing it, which made Darcie, Chelsea, and Allison laugh hysterically when I said that to them. They're evil to the max.
After school let out, I went down to get my birth certificate back from the Driver's Education instructor. I had to wait like twenty minutes and I missed my ride which I wasn't too happy about. I got a ride from my friend Mike, though and here I am, telling you about the amazing day I've had and such.
In a couple of weeks, I may be going to MIT for a program called ESP Splash, which sounds really cool. The deal is, you go to MIT for two days to attend 16 hours of seminars on various things. It cheap, too...like $30 to do the whole thing. Though it doesn't give you any college credits, it does make you look really good to colleges that you apply to, which is ?ber cool (like the umlov'd U?).

I think that's about all for now, I'll try to update again soon.

--Raine