Monday, September 17, 2007

[691] 14SEP07FRI

Things are going pretty well for me these days. I qualified the other day, so I'm done with training for now. I got my orders to my new ship, the USS Memphis. Its homeport is Groton, Connecticut, but for now it's in Portsmouth, New Hampshire doing who knows what.
For the first time I've got girls actually lined up, as funny as that sounds to me. Alex, the girl I've been crushing on for years; Lisa, a girl that I met through work; Naghena, the girl that I hooked up with earlier in the summer. Strange, I go from not getting noticed by anyone to being told by all these girls that I'm what they want.
I don't know what to do about the other two, but this weekend I'm spending with Alex in New York City. It should be a good time, she's a really fun girl. I guess we will see where this goes, won't we?
I'm writing this entry from a chair in the Saratoga Springs Amtrak station. It's pretty nice here, much nicer than most of the train stations I've been to. I really like taking the train to places. It's calming, even if it takes longer than driving most of the time.

For a long time, I've thought that I was alone in one aspect that I like about myself. For a few years, my closest friends have been girls. This isn't because I don't enjoy hanging out with guys, it's just because for the most part I don't have much in common with other guys. I don't watch sports, I don't talk about sports, and really, that's all there is to talk about with other guys I know. Either that or really nerdy video games. I may be a nerd, but I still can't do Everquest or Dungeons and Dragons.
Today I was sitting up in the Electrician shop at work, and one of the staff instructors came in, one that I respect a lot. He's a good instructor, and all around a good guy. A little bit about Kaur: he's about six and a half feet tall, very skinny, and eats constantly. I don't think there has been a day that I've not known him to eat less than 4 pounds of food. He has a reputation at work for being a pimp, or having a harem, something like that.
Anyway, we were talking about just whatever came up, the qualified students that were in there, and eventually someone asked Kaur about his reputation, where it came from. Turns out that he's a lot like me, most of his friends are girls because he just likes being with them more. When he was stationed in Hawaii, he hung out with a pack of traveling nurses, about thirty of them. Easy to see where he gets his reputation now.
When he told us this, he explained some things about women that I had known for ages, apparently the others didn't. For example, women (people in general) are intrigued by passion for things. Collections, movies, biking, hiking. As long as it's not an obsession, they wonder why you're so interested, and then want to know more, maybe get into the activity themselves.
Girls (I use that term because it sounds more fitting for the age bracket that I'm interested in than “women”), want to be listened to, but treated as equals. Obvious, right? Girls are just like guys, they have insecurities, problems, and everything else that we go through. The important thing to remember is simply that. Too many guys don't realize that, they consider girls to be “under” them in some way, or put them on some kind of pedestal. Either way isn't fair to the girl. Treating them without respect isn't good at all, and building them up puts pressure on them to be something they aren't.
I won't lie, I'm guilty of the latter. With Karen I got so caught up in trying to make sure that she didn't feel inadequate that I ended up getting to a point where she felt like she couldn't be herself around be, that she had to be someone “better” than her. When I first realized this, nearly a year ago, I couldn't forgive myself. I can't say it won't happen again, because it's just in my nature to try to make people feel better, no matter who they are. But I hope it's not something that will recur.

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